Who keeps the dog after a breakup?
Approaching Divorce and Pet Custody from a dog’s perspective.
You and your partner have decided to separate. And you have a dog. How should you decide who keeps the dog when you breakup?
There are several ways you can look at this question; you can look at who the legal and rightful owner of the dog is, i.e. which one of you paid for her, or adopted him, whose name is on all the paperwork at the vet, the daycare, or on the pet insurance. You could go back in time and remember who cleaned up all the house training mistakes, researched the breeder or who took the time to take the dog to training classes in the beginning. Or, if a betrayal happened in your relationship, you may feel it is right to give the dog to your ex as an apology, or, keep the dog to punish your ex for the hurt they caused you.
Let me offer another idea: think about the situation purely from the point of view of what is best for your dog. Ask the question about what is right for the dog in this present moment. As far as your dog’s well-being, it is less relevant who paid for them, or what led to the two of you separating, or what ‘rightful ownership’ means.
Which of you is going to give the dog the best life going forward? Who has the time to give a young active dog the exercise and mental stimulation they are used to? Or, which one of you is better at taking care of an older dog who has, or may have, medical issues soon? Is your dog better in a quiet home or a social one? Many dogs are genetically wired to bond strongly with a single individual; who is the dog most bonded to between the two of you? Who spends the most time with the dog?
It’s not about which one of you deserves to keep the dog, it’s about asking yourself, with a clear heart, who has the best lifestyle and routine for the dog itself. Dogs are generally more adaptable than you might think. No matter what decision you come to, your dog will likely, with some time to adjust, settle into the next phase of their life.
My job as a pet custody specialist is to help couples understand how different choices, such as joint custody, visitation, or sole custody will impact on your dog, based on their individual history, breed, age, bond, etc. Visit www.whokeepsthedog.com to learn more about my work or to book an appointment.
